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April 29, 2011

Boris attends the Royal Wedding.

Before Boris entered Westminster Abbey for today’s Royal Wedding, he took time to speak to Fiona Bruce. He was in high spirits…

Fiona Bruce: “Boris, I’ve never seen you look so smart!”

Boris: “Well, what do you expect?! I’m very very proud to have been invited. And of course I’m going to wear the right stuff! And this comes, I’m delighted to say, from Moss Bros in Fenchurch Street, and I’m indebted to Pam in Moss Bros of Fenchurch Street for her hard work in getting me as smart as she could!”

FB: “Well, I’m sure she’ll be very glad for the mention! Now you have already worked out what you’re going to be giving to the happy couple as a wedding present, I gather?”

BJ: “We have, and we’re very glad that some kindhearted sponsors have come up with the support necessary for what we think is a perfect present, which is a tandem bicycle! Oh, I’ve given it away already. Anyway, we’ll be unveiling it later on!”

FB: “Well they may not be listening! I think they may be trying to get ready at this point!”

BJ: “True. It may not be uppermost in their minds!”

FB: “It’s a great day for London isn’t it?”

BJ: “It’s a fantastic day for the city, and obviously it shows the city off at its best. We’ve got the entire international media here, and in many ways it’s a good dry-run for the Olympics. And, you know, we’ve got just about every American broadcaster you could possibly imagine. And it’s a good opportunity to test our systems, get our transport systems working, and show it off as best as we possibly can.”

FB: “And how well do you know William and Kate?”

BJ: “Well, I don’t want to exaggerate! The prince and I were involved in an inglorious episode which some of you may remember…to try to get the FIFA World Cup to come to England. We got to know each other a bit then, but I can’t pretend to be, you know, a close buddy of the royal couple, but I’m absolutely thrilled that we’ve been asked!”

FB: “Are you looking forward to the day?”

BJ: “I’m very much looking forward to it. What we’re going to do afterwards, is we’re all going to Trafalgar Square, and I’m going to offer a toast to the happy couple!”

FB: “Boris, I’m going to let you take your seat. Thank you very much for talking to me.”

[UPDATE: Watch it here at 1hr41]

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